Remembering Mickey Barnett
"There are lots of victims, not just one."

In addition to the emotional toll she and her family have endured, Marilyn Barnett has also taken on plenty of extra responsibility since her oldest son “Mickey” died in a drunk driving crash.

Mickey and Kaydance

At the time of the February 10, 2005 crash in Evansville, Indiana, Mickey was the proud father of a 3-month-old girl named Kaydance. “Part of my joy as a grandmother was watching Mickey with her,” says Marilyn. “I feel cheated.”

Marilyn vows to tell her 3-year-old granddaughter about Mickey every day, promising that she will know her dad. And they definitely have enough time together to do that. Kaydance’s mother, Kristen, takes the child to Marilyn’s every weekday at 4 a.m., to get to her job as a coal dispatcher on time. Marilyn then takes Kaydance to day care on her way to work.

“Mickey loved kids, and they loved him,” says Marilyn. Since he was in junior high, he wanted to be a coach and a teacher. Having earned a bachelor’s degree in history, with a minor in psychology from the University of Southern Indiana, he enjoyed coaching sports, substitute teaching and tutoring in history.

Mickey's brothers Chris and JP              at a memorial softball tournament

Mickey coached junior high football through nine of 10 winning seasons and also coached Little League and Babe Ruth pony baseball teams. He also worked full-time in shipping for Airgas.

Mickey was the first in seven generations of Barnetts to have a girl. “When people heard he’d had a baby girl, they asked if he was upset that she wasn’t a boy," Marilyn says. "‘No,’ he replied, ‘I’ll just learn to pitch underhanded!’”

Three months after Marilyn’s 34-year-old “baby” was killed (she considers it premeditated murder), Marilyn contacted MADD and started MADD’s Southwestern Indiana affiliate. “MADD has gotten me through this. I can talk about it with MADD, since my family doesn’t want to talk about it,” Marilyn says. “There are lots of victims, not just one.”

“It’s been a real, real struggle to keep it going and let people know we’re here,” she says. They started meetings within three months of Mickey’s crash, and now hold them monthly. Marilyn also serves on DUI courts advisory boards for Vandeburgh County, where her son was killed, and Warrick County, where she lives.

Since her husband Mick retired after 23 years in the Navy, and often traveled, Marilyn made sure she was always there for her three sons. Now she feels like she has to apologize to them for being unavailable following Mickey’s death. “I couldn’t be there for them – or for myself – I kind of turned others and myself off,” she says. Mickey's two younger brothers live in Evansville, about seven miles from Newburgh, where Marilyn and her husband live.

The drunk driving offender who killed Mickey ran a red light at a minimum speed of at least 54 mph, according to police records based on tire tracks. He had just gotten off probation that January for DUI. Charged with death due to drugs and alcohol, he was initially sentenced to two concurrent 14-year terms, but appealed and won, getting one charge dropped, and two years taken off the other.

Learn more about MADD Victim Services. Call our Victim/Survivor Helpline at 1-877-MADD-HELP (877-623-3435) to speak with a Victim Advocate.