“I don’t know how I got through all of that, but for the grace of God,” she says. “I felt completely overwhelmed and felt lots of burden on my shoulders. Dealing with the kids brought up stuff I hadn’t ever dealt with myself.” Two of her teenagers were suicidal, and finding adolescent grief counseling was especially hard.
Now a trained
victim advocate for MADD, Cathy has learned that everyone deals with grief differently because of personalities and types of relationships with loved ones. “I can’t tell someone I know how they feel, but I can help them through the process,” she says. She also speaks to groups of parents and students, hoping to prevent further heartaches caused by drunk driving.
A seven-year veteran with the Social Security Administration at the time of Zach’s crash, Cathy’s job kept her going. “If I hadn’t had to get up and go to work, and get my mind off it. . . I don’t know how people do that who don’t have a job.” She has also used the time going to and from work to think about it all and deal with it herself. Her office colleagues, her friends and Zach’s friends have been very supportive.
The 17-year-old driver of the Jeep, whose BAC measured .10 two-and-a-half hours after the crash, pleaded guilty to two counts of homicide by a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and also pleaded guilty to two counts of homicide by a motor vehicle while impaired by alcohol. The man who bought beer for the five underage teens made $10 on the deal. He served five weekends in jail for contributing to the delinquency of minors.
New Jersey resident Keith Flem was the other teen killed in the crash. He was in Finksburg visiting Ryan Berger, 17. Best friends since kindergarten, they were like brothers. Ironically, the five boys in the Jeep stopped by to see if Ryan could go with them, but he said he had homework to do.