In the Middle of the Dark
By Guest Blogger | April 3, 2013 | Filed in: Victim Services

By Carl McDonald, MADD’s National Law Enforcement Initiatives Manager

I shake off the initial jolt of adrenaline coursing through me as the phone call shocks me from a deep sleep. Going through my routine of gathering my pen and note taking material, I count on those familiar moves to settle me. The voice on the phone is a familiar combination of anxious, faint, unsure and hurt. 

It’s 2:30 in the morning and she needs help.  Her husband was killed. 

This isn’t a 911 call.  I’m a Volunteer Victim Advocate for the MADD National Victim Services Help Line.

The crash involving a drunk driver was six months ago and the impact continues.  In many ways, the impact for this woman is still in motion.

The offender’s blood alcohol percentage was over two and a half times the illegal level, yet bond was set at a puzzling $1,000. The defendant was released right away, and the woman has lingering questions about how this could be possible.

The case has been continued three times.  The first prosecutor showed extreme indifference, an election took place, and now a new prosecutor is in place that is easier to work with. 

The new prosecutor has placed the defendant’s future directly in this woman’s hands.  He’s offered three options to the woman and asked her to decide the defendant’s fate.  She’s not sure if she is capable of a decision like this.  The offender is a 31 year old woman with a three year old daughter.

As we talk through this turn of events, the irony is not lost on either of us.  Those of us whose lives have been shattered by this crime, always strive for a greater voice in the outcome of a prosecution.  Now this woman is thrust into the role of playing God in the life of her offender, and she cannot sleep.

We spend about an hour talking through the collision, her notification and what that day was like for her.  The state police were kind, she says, but they recommended she not view her husband’s body.  The coroner had the same advice.  This haunts her, and she wishes she had insisted.

I make notes as we speak, and ask her if she’s worked with one of our local victim advocates, someone close to where she lives.  With her permission, I’ll forward this information today and we’ll get her some long-term help. 

We’ll walk with her on this most difficult road.  She’s already taken the first steps.  She called and we answered.  Because we know even at 2:30 in the morning, the impact continues.

Reaching Out to Victims
By MADD | March 4, 2013 | Filed in: Victim Services

Hopefully by now you know that MADD is first and foremost a victim services organization—as we like to say, “We help survivors survive.” We have more than 1,200 trained victim advocates nationwide who can help bereaved families and injured victims/survivors.  What you may not know is how we first connect with the victim/survivors we serve.

Often, a victim/survivor will contact MADD directly through their local MADD office or call MADD’s National Help Line (1-877-623-3435). But many times victim/survivors don’t feel comfortable contacting MADD, or are unaware of what services MADD has to offer crash victim/survivors.  That’s when we reach out.

MADD victim advocates may learn about an alleged impaired driving crash through working relationship with the victim witness coordinators at the District Attorney or Sheriff’s office, or through law enforcement agencies. Other time they hear about them in the news—advocates scan newspapers and news websites regularly for crash information.

After we hear about an alleged impaired driving crash, a “We Care” card is sent to the victims, typically two weeks after the crash occurred.  The cards inform victims of what services MADD can provide.  Then, if we have their phone number, a MADD advocate will place a follow up call after a “We Care” card has been mailed.

We strive to be respectful and considerate of the people we reach out to and serve.  We would never want to be perceived as aggressive or hurtful to a victim/survivor and by doing so cause further harm.  Our job is to support and empower those who have been affected by this violent crime, and sometimes it’s those little details, such as that first contact, that make a big difference.

If you or someone you know is a victim/survivor of an impaired driving crash, MADD is here for you.  Services are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year through our Help Line: 877.MADD.HELP.  If you are interested in becoming a victim advocate, click here to connect with your local office.

In Our Hearts
By Jan Withers | February 4, 2013 | Filed in: National President , Victim Services

On a TV show I watched recently, a young woman was clinging to a pink felt heart.  Her friend pointed to it and asked, “What’s this about?” The woman responded, “It was sewn on a teddy bear that I carried around everywhere when I was a child.  I never let go of that bear.  I finally wore it out, and this heart is all I have left,” she replied.  He very gently responded, “You have the best part.”  He then pulled a tiny piece of paper from his wallet.  It was from a Chinese fortune cookie she had given him the first time they met.  On it was written, “Today’s new friend is tomorrow’s family.”

This month, many of us whose loved ones were killed by impaired driving will pull out Valentine cards that are now—like my heart’s feelings—a little tattered around the edges.  My eyes often fill with tears as I think, “this is all I have left of Alisa.  I want more.” 

But then, Alisa’s lovely spirit tiptoes to the front of my heart.  You see I carry her in my heart, everywhere I go.  She has always been there—before she was born, to the time that she danced around us on this earth, and even now when her beautiful spirit lives in my heart, as it does in so many others.  I never let go of that girl.

On Valentine’s Day—and every day—remember that our loved ones live on in our heart.  In our hearts… that’s the best place, now.   I am so grateful for all of the gifts Alisa continues to give me, and I am sure that your loved ones fill your heart with gifts of love, too.  May your Valentine’s Day give you warm moments of lovely memories. 

Each of us connects to MADD for our own reasons, and so we are connected to one another.  I cherish our bond as I cherish every one of you.   On this Valentine’s Day, whether or not we have met in person, I thank you for being in my life. Today’s new friend is tomorrow’s family.  How true that is. 

Warmly,
Jan

Why We’re Here: Luke Maue
By MADD | February 4, 2013 | Filed in: Drunk Driving , Victim Services , Victim Stories

Luke at the zoo

Luke Maue was a loving and caring boy with a sweet smile.  He loved basketball, the Power Rangers and Blues Brothers 2000.

On May 18, 2001, seven-year-old Luke visited the St. Louis Zoo on a field trip with his first-grade class.   Luke was excited about the trip and was happy to have his mother, Angie, attend with him. 

As they were leaving the zoo after a fun-filled day, a 20-year-old drunk driver, with a BAC of .22, was driving 64 mph in a 25 mph zone and lost control of his car. His car jumped the curb and struck and killed Luke on the sidewalk as his mother and classmates  watched in horror.

After Luke was killed, Angie called MADD’s Help Line looking for support.  She was introduced to a victim advocate, Angela Leong, who met the family at the funeral home for the visitation and continued to support the family.  “She was there for us whenever we needed her,” says Angie Maue, Luke’s mother.  

Angie also attended support group meetings and other MADD events. Through MADD, the Maue family found a community that helped them through the healing process, and now considers them family.

Angie now spends her time speaking at area high schools, colleges and MADD Victim Impact Panels.  She hopes that sharing Luke’s story might prevent someone else from a senseless tragedy like this.

“I feel that is my gift and what I am supposed to do,” Angie says.  “I witnessed my son's death and now I need to be his voice.  We want to give back to MADD, the organization that is making an effort to do the same.”

The Maues created Luke’s Legacy and host a fundraising event for MADD called “Hope 4 Tomorrow,” a 5K run and 1 mile MADD Dash that is held around Luke’s birthday each year.  This event raises several thousand dollars each year for the MADD Gateway affiliate.

The Heart and Soul of MADD
By MADD | January 7, 2013 | Filed in: Victim Services

With the holidays being a difficult time for people coping with loss, and the fact that more people are killed in drunk driving crashes on New Year’s Day than any other day of the year, it’s no surprise that we see a significant increase in calls to MADD’s Victim/Survivor Helpline in January.

Victim Services is the heart of MADD.  We have more than 1,400 trained victim advocates nationwide who can help bereaved families and injured victims/survivors by:

• Providing emotional support
• Providing advocacy in the criminal and civil justice systems
• Accompanying victims/survivors to court
• Assisting in preparing a victim impact statement
• Referring victims/survivors to appropriate resources for additional help
• Offering support groups in many areas
• Connecting victims/survivors who share similar experiences
• Providing supportive materials on victimization topics

It may surprise you to know that many of MADD’s victim advocates are volunteers — caring individuals who spend their time making sure that victims can get the help they need, when they need it.  Some lost a loved one in a drunk driving crash and decided to put their tragic experience and acquired knowledge to use by helping others; others saw the need in their community and wanted to help.

Volunteers are the soul of MADD. It is their compassion and determination that drives the organization and it is their tireless efforts that have accomplished so much.  If you are interested in learning more about becoming a volunteer victim advocate, or to get more information about other volunteer opportunities, find your state here and fill out the volunteer form.