Behind every drunk driving statistic is a person whose life was full of family and friends, love and life, joy and laughter. They are mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, friends, neighbors and co-workers. Their lives touched so many and they will never be forgotten.
This holiday season, we are asking everyone to take part in our online celebration of life candlelight vigil, and light a virtual candle in honor of a loved one who was killed or injured in a drunk driving crash.
For many people, this is a season of celebrations. However, the holidays are often a difficult time for those of us who are bereaved and coping with loss. Many bereaved and injured people face this season with apprehension often in fear of their emotional reactions to what are supposed to be happy, memorable events.
A common question asked by those mourning a loved one or struggling to make sense of other losses is, “How can I get through the holidays?” There is no single answer of what we should or should not do, but it is important that we consider what activities are comfortable for us to participate in during the holidays.
Here are some suggestions for people experiencing bereavement and/or injury for coping during the holidays:
Plan ahead for the approaching holidays. Accept that this might be a difficult time for you. The additional stress this season brings may impact you emotionally, physically and spiritually. These are normal reactions. Be prepared for rushes of emotions that may occur.
Recognize that the holidays might not be the same as they were in the past. Expecting everything to seem the same might lead to disappointment. Modify or make new traditions if it feels right. Just remember to include others who are grieving, especially children, in decisions.
Don’t overwhelm or over commit yourself. Give yourself a reprieve. Take time for yourself and take care of yourself. Take it slow and easy, one step at a time.
Be careful not to isolate yourself. It is all right to take time for yourself, but try not to cut yourself off from the support of family and friends.
The holidays may affect other family members. Talk to others as you make plans and share your feelings. Respect other’s choices and needs, and compromise if necessary.
Expect to experience some feelings of emotional pain. When the feelings come, let them.
Accept a few invitations to be with close family or friends. Choose the ones that sound most appealing at the time and decline the ones that feel more like an obligation.
Talk about your feelings. Let people know if you are having a tough day.
Share your favorite stories with others and make a toast or light a candle in honor and remembrance.
When everyone else appears so happy and cheerful, it is easy to feel alone. You may feel out of sorts with the holiday season. Recognizing that the holidays can be painful often helps ease that sense of isolation. If you need any additional assistance, please call 1-877-MADD-HELP (877-623-3435). MADD is just one call away.
Ken Watson was a bright, intelligent boy who made a bad choice when he accepted a ride from someone he barely knew. As a result, he was killed on October 16, 1981—just days after his 14th birthday.
The young man who was driving the car Ken got into that night had been drinking, even though he was underage. He was speeding and ran a stop sign. The car crested a hill and went airborne for 76 feet, and when it landed, it burst into flames. The driver escaped, but Ken was trapped in the car and was burned alive. He was burned over 99 percent of his body. He suffered no other injuries other than the burns.
At MADD’s National Conference this year, Andie Rehkamp, Ken’s mother and now a MADD Victim Advocate, shared her experience with the criminal justice system in support of the Victims Rights’ Constitutional Amendment. She described how she and her husband were instructed to not speak, or they could be held in contempt of court. The driver’s family was allowed to speak at length about what “a great guy” her son’s killer was and how devastating a strict sentence would be to them, but Ken’s name was not mentioned at all. They were not allowed to give a victim impact statement.
Andie said, “I have assisted thousands of victims and their families in the last 31 years and although there have been many changes and improvements, today there are still victims that do not receive notifications of court proceedings, are not consulted before a plea bargain is offered or given the opportunity to give an oral victim impact statement at sentencing. Now is the time to enact the Victim Rights’ Constitutional Amendment.”
Watch the video of Andie’s emotional speech from conference to hear her tragic story in her own words:
Behind every drunk driving statistic is a person whose life was full of family and friends, love and life, joy and laughter. They are mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, friends, neighbors and co-workers. Their lives touched so many and they will never be forgotten.
For many people, this is a season of celebrations. However, the holidays are often a difficult time for those of us who are bereaved and coping with loss. Many bereaved and injured people face this season with apprehension often in fear of their emotional reactions to what are supposed to be happy, memorable events. 
When everyone else appears so happy and cheerful, it is easy to feel alone. You may feel out of sorts with the holiday season. Recognizing that the holidays can be painful often helps ease that sense of isolation. If you need any additional assistance, please call 1-877-MADD-HELP (877-623-3435). MADD is just one call away.
Ken Watson was a bright, intelligent boy who made a bad choice when he accepted a ride from someone he barely knew. As a result, he was killed on October 16, 1981—just days after his 14th birthday.