In Our Hearts
By Jan Withers | February 4, 2013 | Filed in: National President , Victim Services

On a TV show I watched recently, a young woman was clinging to a pink felt heart.  Her friend pointed to it and asked, “What’s this about?” The woman responded, “It was sewn on a teddy bear that I carried around everywhere when I was a child.  I never let go of that bear.  I finally wore it out, and this heart is all I have left,” she replied.  He very gently responded, “You have the best part.”  He then pulled a tiny piece of paper from his wallet.  It was from a Chinese fortune cookie she had given him the first time they met.  On it was written, “Today’s new friend is tomorrow’s family.”

This month, many of us whose loved ones were killed by impaired driving will pull out Valentine cards that are now—like my heart’s feelings—a little tattered around the edges.  My eyes often fill with tears as I think, “this is all I have left of Alisa.  I want more.” 

But then, Alisa’s lovely spirit tiptoes to the front of my heart.  You see I carry her in my heart, everywhere I go.  She has always been there—before she was born, to the time that she danced around us on this earth, and even now when her beautiful spirit lives in my heart, as it does in so many others.  I never let go of that girl.

On Valentine’s Day—and every day—remember that our loved ones live on in our heart.  In our hearts… that’s the best place, now.   I am so grateful for all of the gifts Alisa continues to give me, and I am sure that your loved ones fill your heart with gifts of love, too.  May your Valentine’s Day give you warm moments of lovely memories. 

Each of us connects to MADD for our own reasons, and so we are connected to one another.  I cherish our bond as I cherish every one of you.   On this Valentine’s Day, whether or not we have met in person, I thank you for being in my life. Today’s new friend is tomorrow’s family.  How true that is. 

Warmly,
Jan

The Heart and Soul of MADD
By MADD | January 7, 2013 | Filed in: Victim Services

With the holidays being a difficult time for people coping with loss, and the fact that more people are killed in drunk driving crashes on New Year’s Day than any other day of the year, it’s no surprise that we see a significant increase in calls to MADD’s Victim/Survivor Helpline in January.

Victim Services is the heart of MADD.  We have more than 1,400 trained victim advocates nationwide who can help bereaved families and injured victims/survivors by:

• Providing emotional support
• Providing advocacy in the criminal and civil justice systems
• Accompanying victims/survivors to court
• Assisting in preparing a victim impact statement
• Referring victims/survivors to appropriate resources for additional help
• Offering support groups in many areas
• Connecting victims/survivors who share similar experiences
• Providing supportive materials on victimization topics

It may surprise you to know that many of MADD’s victim advocates are volunteers — caring individuals who spend their time making sure that victims can get the help they need, when they need it.  Some lost a loved one in a drunk driving crash and decided to put their tragic experience and acquired knowledge to use by helping others; others saw the need in their community and wanted to help.

Volunteers are the soul of MADD. It is their compassion and determination that drives the organization and it is their tireless efforts that have accomplished so much.  If you are interested in learning more about becoming a volunteer victim advocate, or to get more information about other volunteer opportunities, find your state here and fill out the volunteer form.

Winter 2012 MADDvocate
By MADD | December 17, 2012 | Filed in: Drunk Driving , General , Underage Drinking , Victim Services

The Winter issue of MADDvocate is available. Read the latest issue of our online magazine that is helping survivors survive.

Light a Virtual Candle for Your Loved Ones
By MADD | November 30, 2012 | Filed in: Drunk Driving , Victim Services

Behind every drunk driving statistic is a person whose life was full of family and friends, love and life, joy and laughter.  They are mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, friends, neighbors and co-workers. Their lives touched so many and they will never be forgotten.

This holiday season, we are asking everyone to take part in our online celebration of life candlelight vigil, and light a virtual candle in honor of a loved one who was killed or injured in a drunk driving crash.

You can share their story or write them a message, and light a candle in their honor or memory. Participate in our online tribute by lighting your virtual candle now.

Holiday Grief Tips
By MADD | November 28, 2012 | Filed in: Victim Services

For many people, this is a season of celebrations.  However, the holidays are often a difficult time for those of us who are bereaved and coping with loss.  Many bereaved and injured people face this season with apprehension often in fear of their emotional reactions to what are supposed to be happy, memorable events. 

A common question asked by those mourning a loved one or struggling to make sense of other losses is, “How can I get through the holidays?”  There is no single answer of what we should or should not do, but it is important that we consider what activities are comfortable for us to participate in during the holidays.

Here are some suggestions for people experiencing bereavement and/or injury for coping during the holidays:

• Plan ahead for the approaching holidays.  Accept that this might be a difficult time for you.  The additional stress this season brings may impact you emotionally, physically and spiritually.  These are normal reactions.  Be prepared for rushes of emotions that may occur.
• Recognize that the holidays might not be the same as they were in the past.  Expecting everything to seem the same might lead to disappointment.  Modify or make new traditions if it feels right. Just remember to include others who are grieving, especially children, in decisions.
• Don’t overwhelm or over commit yourself. Give yourself a reprieve. Take time for yourself and take care of yourself. Take it slow and easy, one step at a time.
• Be careful not to isolate yourself. It is all right to take time for yourself, but try not to cut yourself off from the support of family and friends.
• The holidays may affect other family members. Talk to others as you make plans and share your feelings. Respect other’s choices and needs, and compromise if necessary.
• Expect to experience some feelings of emotional pain. When the feelings come, let them.
• Accept a few invitations to be with close family or friends. Choose the ones that sound most appealing at the time and decline the ones that feel more like an obligation.
• Talk about your feelings. Let people know if you are having a tough day.
• Share your favorite stories with others and make a toast or light a candle in honor and remembrance.

When everyone else appears so happy and cheerful, it is easy to feel alone.  You may feel out of sorts with the holiday season.  Recognizing that the holidays can be painful often helps ease that sense of isolation. If you need any additional assistance, please call 1-877-MADD-HELP (877-623-3435).  MADD is just one call away.