Getting through the holiday season is often difficult, below are some suggestions.  Use them if they may help, but remember that only you can decide how best to handle this time of year.  Do what YOU feel is best for you and your family.

• Family get-togethers may be extremely difficult.  Be honest with each other about your feelings.  Sit down with your family and decide what you want to do for the holiday season.  Don't set expectations too high for yourself or the day.  If you wish things to be the same, you are going to be disappointed.  Undertake only what each family member is able to handle comfortably.
• Baking and cleaning can get out of proportion.  If you find the activities enjoyable, go ahead, but not the point that it is tiring.  This year you could either buy baked goods or go without.
• Emotionally, physically and psychologically - it is draining.  You will need every bit of your strength.  Try to get enough rest.
• One possibility for the first year may be to visit relatives, friends or even go away on a vacation.  Planning, packing, etc., keeps your mind off the holiday and you can share the time in a different and hopefully less painful setting.
• Consider not sending, or cutting back on your holiday cards this year.  It is not necessary to send cards, especially to the family and friends you will see over the holidays.
• Give a special gift in memory of your loved one.  Join the gift giving emphasis of the holidays by giving a gift of some kind -- like a flowering plant to a nursing home.
• If affordable, give a gift of money to others who are disadvantaged.  Give the gift in memory of your loved one.  You might choose a cause that was important to your loved one.
• Engage in an activity that both you and your loved one enjoyed.  You may choose to do this alone or include family and friends.
• To rephrase an old saying, "It is just as blessed to receive as to give."  In that spirit, give yourself a special gift during the holidays.  You might try to imagine something which your loved one would have given you or done for you.
• Remember:  the anticipation of any holiday is usually much worse than the actual day.

(Lifted with Love from The Compassionate Friends Salt Lake City, UT Chapter Newsletter)