PARENTS OF TEENS:
Other Stories
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Alisa’s Story
During spring vacation when she was 15, my daughter Alisa went to stay overnight at her best friend Leana’s house.
That evening, two senior boys stopped by and asked if the girls could come out and visit the go-cart tracks with them. Leana’s parents said “Yes.”
The boys really had a different plan. They picked up cases of beer hidden in the woods and drove the kids to a pond. They all hung out there while the boys drank.
The trip back to Leana’s was four miles on country roads. The driver, who was intoxicated by this time, decided it would be fun to scare his passengers.
He reached 120 mph and lost control. The car veered into the woods and hit a guard rail. That rail tore off the car’s entire right side, where my daughter was sitting. Alisa was thrown from the car into thick woods. A surgeon spent hours trying to put her organs back in place. The last time I kissed her and told her I loved her, she was unconscious on the gurney. Alisa died at 4:30 A.M. that morning.
I tell parents, “Talk to your kids constantly about the dangers of drinking. Not just drinking and driving, but about the dangers of drinking. Educate yourself, educate your kids, and continue that education. Monitor your kids’ whereabouts and behavior constantly. Make sure there are clear boundaries—no drinking, period—it’s that simple. Follow-up with consequences if those boundaries are violated.
Tell your children, ‘Don’t drink until the age of 21, and don’t be involved with anybody who does.’” That’s my message.
— Jan Withers, Maryland
Connect With Your Teen Today
Now’s the time to start communicating. 3
- Send a text message to ask what your teen is doing.
- Eat dinner together as a family.
- Agree on a time during the next few days when the two of you will discuss underage drinking.
Learn more about what you can do at home, and find beneficial techniques in the MADD Parent Handbook. 3
Casey’s Story
Casey, my eldest, was what you’d call a ‘good kid’ –on honor roll, in marching band and choir; he wrestled and played football.
Casey’s father had a drinking problem and Casey knew it contributed to our divorce. That gave me a false sense of security. I believed he had seen the problems alcohol could cause and was mature enough to handle drinking, but I was wrong.
Casey was 18 the night he and his friends stopped at a drive-up liquor establishment that didn’t card underage buyers.
They bought rum and decided it would be fun to see how much just one person could chug. That person was Casey.
Around noon the next day, a police officer came to my door. It was the standard conversation. “I’m sorry to inform you that your son Casey has died….”
“No, that can’t be right,” I said.
It took 2 days for the coroner to get back to me and confirm that Casey’s blood alcohol content was .41— more than five times the legal limit.
If I had it all to do over again? I would have made my message very clear.
When I found that bottle of rum Casey had hidden in my garage, I would not have thrown it away and said nothing like I did. I would have taken it out and set it on my kitchen counter.
Then we would have discussed why I did not want him drinking, sitting there and looking at each other. I would have spoken to him about alcohol more often.
— Debbie Taylor, Wyoming
Talk With Your Teen
Speak often with your child about alcohol.3,4
- Explain why alcohol, as a sedative drug, is dangerous.3.4
- Talk about how alcohol can harm a teen’s growing brain.
- Emphasize that underage drinking is illegal. Make it clear that you want your teen to respect the law and be safe, so you expect him or her not to drink.3,4
- Find out where your child is going and with whom. Agree on the time they need to be home, and explain the consequences if they drink.3,4
- Help your teen brainstorm useful strategies for resisting pressure to drink.3
Talk With Other Parents
When your teen spends time with a friend, stay in touch with that friend’s parents. Together, you can form a network that boosts your kids’ safety. Other parents can help:
- Monitor teens’ activities and location.
- Make sure you’re getting the real story.
- Ensure a teen is following his or her own family rules.
- Learn more about what you can do at home. 3
CLICK HERE FOR REFERENCES
1. Foley, Kristie, et al. "Adults’ Approval and Adolescents’ Alcohol Use." Journal of Adolescent Health. 35, No. 4, (2004).
2. GfK Roper Youth Report. Based on online survey conducted March 19, 2008-April 27, 2008. Read more
3. Prevention Research Center, The Pennsylvania State University. (2005) Parents as a Resource: Talking with Adolescents About Alcohol.
4. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, The Surgeon General’s Call to Action to Prevent and Reduce Underage Drinking 2007. Read more
Resnick M.D. et al. “Protecting adolescents from harm. Findings from the National Longitudinal Study on Adolescent Health.” JAMA 1997;278(10):823-832. Read more
